Profile !

jol
190786
cancerian
spends free time shopping, eating, reading, clubbing, singing, playing pool, chilling out, doing sports, playing arcade..
favs: strawberries, pink dolphin, fruit punch and cherries! yum!
wishes: for the perfect life..
Links !

kakajol
hs
pea
eme
regine
char
cheryl
tin
ling
tcy
zhi hong
alicia
lyn
wrussel
winnie
jeremy
dexiang
kumleng
rong


Random







Friday, May 12, 2006

caught the movie poseidon with eme and pea last night. very nice show! people out there pls go and watch. the whole process of how the great ship sank is great.

it is vesak day today and u wouldn't believe the crowd out there!! if i had known it would be like tt i wouldn't have gone out. made me so freaking tired.all the jostling and blocking and pushing just made me feel so damn irritated! maybe tt's why i'm so tired now. getting all worked up just eats up all ur precious energy. haha. but then again, my mom brought me along for a shopping spree because sales are on now! oh man.. i cant rem the last time i bought sooooo many clothes! i'm serious! i don even wanna count how many pieces of clothes i've bought. haha. maybe i'll bring eme to seiyu bugis when i see her on sat. see she wanna go or not. hehe all the clothes very nice and very cheap.

going to the temple later to pray. haiz. i would like to pray but i'm so sian now. very tired. and zen doesnt even have to go to the temple! so unfair! haha okok, enough unfaithfulness on my part to my religion. =)


5:20 PM



Wednesday, May 10, 2006

You are a Lavender Rose

You represent love at first sight and enchantment.

Your vibe: intense and intriguing

Falling in love with you is: deep and meaningful






Men See You As Understated

You are an intreguing mix of girl and woman.
You're feminine, quiet, and a total mystery to most men.
Yet they often feel the urge to protect you, even if they don't know you.
You *are* a flirt, but you usually only flirt with those you know well






Your Values Profile

Loyalty:

You value loyalty a fair amount.
You're loyal to your friends... to a point.
But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties.
Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself.

Honesty:

You value honesty a fair amount.
You're honest when you can be, but you aren't a stickler for it.
If a little white lie will make a situation more comfortable, you'll go for it.
In the end, you mostly care about "situational integrity."

Generosity:

You value generosity a fair amount.
You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take.
Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need.
But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"!

Humility:

You value humility a fair amount.
You tend to be an easy going, humble person.
But occasionally your ego takes over.
You have a slight competitive streak - and the need to be the best.

Tolerance:

You value tolerance a fair amount.
You are open to new cultures, beliefs, and ideas.
You have very few prejudices that you're aware of.
And while you are tolerant, you do stand true to what you believe.


10:45 PM





women should get this straight: men are not as oblivious to the wiles of a women as women may like to think.


10:08 PM



Monday, May 08, 2006

The Ammmmmazing Thing Called L.O.V.E. !!!!!!!!!

i love my dear!! haha. oh man, the more we're together, the more crazy we are.

ok so there we were today, sitting around doing nth in both our respective houses, with growling empty stomachs because neither of us has had lunch. him waiting for me to give him the green light to fetch me and me waiting for a chance to get out of the hse without having to have another showdown with mom again.

we were chatting over msn when i asked him if he wants to see me asap. of course he said yes. so i made the off-handed remark that he should then come over and ask my mom for permission to take her dear daughter (ya right) out. i expected him to say no. firstly, because guys will usually freak out at the idea, totally understandable. but the idea has always had some appeal to me. donno why. maybe because deep down i feel that it is the polite and proper thing to do anyway, though u don see youngsters in s'pore doing this anymore. *sad case. secondly, because i had once invited him to eat with my family (minus my dad) and he told me he feels scared and not prepared yet. boy, did i totally TOTALLY underestimate him! he was like ok i'm coming over now.

so anyway to cut a long story short, we got the whole ordeal done with and my mom was quite impressed i must say. she likes him.

i must also admit this: my admiration of him has increased by a few notches. hehe. first guy to do this for me. it's also his first for doing smth like this for a girl. *touched. hee. he makes me happy, he makes my heart pound.. ok, that's it! i'm nv letting him go. =)


12:05 AM



Sunday, May 07, 2006

i have to earn my own keep.

since mom's already so bent sure that i stole her money, she definitely is not giving me my allowance. how can i survive? i'm already dead broke. and what's more, she tries to take money frm me at every opportunity.

i am really angry and hurt.

she's always saying i keep going out and spending money and don know how difficult it is to earn it. she has no right to say that of me! no right! she just jumps to conclusion. always like tt. this time i am really too exhausted to fight back. i was so hurt and trying so hard to fight back tears, i knew trying to speak and put up a fight would render a failure.

for one thing, i'm always out because i do not want to face her. facing each other is only going to make matters worse. and abt the spending money part, everytime i'm out, i havent been spending a single cent. there's always zen. i feel so bad, so guilty. i nv meant for things to turn out this way. i don wanna depend on him this way. i don want him to think i'm with him cus of his money. it's nv this way. the next thing i need is for another misunderstanding to blow up in my face. if he is reading this.. i am so sorry.. i keep saying tt but i feel it doesnt help! of course it doesnt help..

and my mom, to say that i don know how difficult it is to earn money, that is so unfair. i have done my fair bit of giving tuition before, working my ass off when my schedule has been so tight, she didnt go thru what i did, how would she know how stressed up i was feeling, how exhausted i feel to come home late every night frm night classes, how much i tried to cope and catch up with all the workload. no, she doesnt know. she thinks everything can be done so easily. she don seem to know.. or seem to care even..

i've tried to introduce the idea to zen before, abt me working but he is just so agst it. sorry but love has to take a backseat for the moment. he says he can take care of me. ya right, for how long? it's not like his money is limitless. and it's not like he's my husband or anything like tt. it would be so unfair if i were to lean on him. he is still young..

sigh. all this is sooooo coming at the wrong time. piano exams are just around the corner. oh ya and did i mention? piano fees are due, and coward that i am, i don know how am i going to tell my mom that.. night classes for the new year is starting soon.. i can already foresee the stressful days in front of me.. and this time, i have a bf..

i feel so apologetic to him. i nv meant for him to share this burden with me.

i felt so happy yesterday. i'm always happy when i'm with him, except for a moment when he asked me abt my mom and i almost cried in front of his friends. don worry i managed to gain control over my emotions so i wasnt an embarrassment. sigh. i'm like a puddle of emotions nowadays. weak weak weak! and here i've thought i've succeeded in making myself cold when i was working like a robot before. lying to myself. actually it was just all stored up inside.

tried so hard to convince my mom. i tried being nice. but what do u know.. when ppl already forms a bad conclusion abt you, u being nice just seems to them as ur way of trying to ease ur guilt. so i've stopped being nice. and what do u know, she scolds me selfish..

today she experienced first hand how stupid my siblings actually are at housework. she was going bonkers! finally she knows. she always think they're so smart and that i havent been doing much around the house cus i don have to. that is so nonsense. now at least she knows i can get no help frm my siblings! really, they're a bunch of idiots! can't even clean up after their own mess!

tmr zen will be out of town. i believe it's a relief, for both of us. eases my guilt on leaning on him and heaping all the emo stuff on him. and him being away frm me shld be good. a relief to his wallet. haha. ok trying to be funny here. so starting tmr, i shall go job hunting with Classified and drag my ass over to stansfield college to get my class schedule. no class at MDIS tmr too. yup. all planned.


12:45 PM



Friday, May 05, 2006

i hate my mom for not trusting me.

i seriously do not know where all the money have gone to but i can swear i did not do any shopping! pls. i even tried so hard to live on a budget. i tried so hard to maintain the house. i tried so hard not to spend too much when i'm at the supermarket buying groceries. i tried so hard for everything, all the while clinging desperately to my sanity. and it was all for naught.

she thought i stole her money.

like this morning, i thought i was being nice to offer to go the the market for her. and she made me pay for all the groceries! before she went out today, she even took 2o dollars frm me and her words, "i need to take the cab. 20 dollars out of the money u stole is nth. how could she?? she even made hurting comments that i shld pay for a new hp for her. i seriously don have the money! i don have money! in fact, i'm quite broke. my allowance is only $50 per week! and i still have to pay $130 to pea.. i chose not to argue because i don wanna show disrespect. all the things done and said to me.. it hurts so much..

i try to overlook her suspicions. i try to slowly convince her. i am her daughter! not some outsider! why would i steal her money?! she has been abroad so many times, if i wanted to steal wouldn't i have already chosen an earlier time?? why would i only steal now?? i know all these are just typical arguments but i seriously can't think of what else to say.. i really can't take it anymore. it hurts. i even broke down in tears to convince her, but she doesnt care. she even shouted at me to stop it. what can i do to convince her?

she even said she can make a report to the police and it would be an embarrassment for me if i still refuse to admit it..

i really do not know where the all the money went..

i am seriously heartbroken..


8:15 PM





be very surprised people! i took an IQ test and the results..

122~!

hahahahaha. cannot stop laughing! i am an almost genius! hahahaha. imagine puny little old me, smart! it's so laughable! hahahaha.

zen just couldn't believe it. cus it is said that a score of 120 and above means that the person is very smart. haha. he just couldn't believe that his dear is so smart. LOL. he insisted i give him the link so he can take the test too. haha ok, lets see what score mr. smartass will get then. wahahaha. more updates later!


3:47 PM



Thursday, May 04, 2006

caught the movie MI:3 with zen at marina square and i must say, with all the publicity and everyone going on and on abt how great the movie is, the movie fell short of its expectations. well, at least to zen and i. in fact, i found it almost boring! yes.. i can even talk nonsense to zen during the movie..

i was afraid i am the only one who found the movie boring. i mean, so far, i only know one person (and that is me) who finds it boring! so i asked zen, "err dear, you think the movie nice or not?"

and he, being the ever-so-tactful person that he is, replied, "hmmmm. it did not turn out as expected."

there! whew. that proves i'm not some alien without anyone out there sharing the same sentiment as me. =P


11:00 PM



Wednesday, May 03, 2006

excuses, excuses, excuses. the whole fucking world is so full of them! so full of shit!


7:23 PM